Is my non-believing friend really totally depraved?

Romans 3:10-18 (ESV):

            "as it is written:

“None is righteous, no, not one;

  no one understands;

    no one seeks for God.

All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;

    no one does good,

    not even one.”

“Their throat is an open grave;

    they use their tongues to deceive.”

“The venom of asps is under their lips.”

   “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”

“Their feet are swift to shed blood;

   in their paths are ruin and misery,

and the way of peace they have not known.”

            “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”"

 

I had hoped to share the gospel with Sam over lunch. But as I sat across the table from him and chatted about life after graduating from university, I suddenly felt uncomfortable bringing up the gospel. The more we conversed, the more it became apparent to me that he was a better person than me. We were both looking forward to graduation and starting work, but for almost opposite reasons. While I was looking forward to financial autonomy (a fancy way of saying I wanted money to spend without oversight), he was hoping to contribute to his family's expenses. I was stumped. Sam seemed like a good person, nothing like the unrighteous sinner described in Romans 3. Did he really need the gospel? 

On a separate occasion, Sam and I finally had a conversation about sin. Recalling the internal turmoil I experienced at our previous meeting, I struggled through my presentation of man’s total depravity without much conviction, awash with guilt at the hypocrisy of making such bold statements to someone I considered "holier" than myself. Sam listened attentively and asked thoughtful questions, but ultimately said he saw no real need in his life for God. He was content with his life, and content with his moral ‘performance’; though he admitted he fell short of perfection, he believed he could improve with some effort. 

You may have had a similar experience when sharing, or considering whether to share, the gospel. We accept that the gospel is not good news if we are not sinners in need of saving – only the sick need a doctor (Luke 5:31). But we hesitate to go so far as to say with Paul, as he did in Romans 3, that there are none righteous, none who understand, none who seek God. Such a view sits uncomfortably beside our everyday experience of unbelievers doing "good" and "seeking God". It may even cause us to question the righteousness of God in condemning those we would hesitate to condemn. Thus, we often try to massage these seemingly contradictory positions into a strange half-breed: our friends are both good, and not good; righteous, and unrighteous; seeking God, and not seeking God. But Reformed Theology, like the socially obtuse classmate I’m sure we’ve all had, seems intent on vicariously embarrassing the rest of the Christian church by declaring that we are all, as sinners, “totally depraved”. 

What does 'total depravity' mean? Is it biblical? Is it true? Is my friend really totally depraved?

While the phrase 'total depravity' does not appear in the Bible, it is a biblical concept, stemming from passages like Romans 3:10-18, Jeremiah 13:23, Ephesians 2:1, Colossians 2:13, Psalm 51:5, 1 Corinthians 2:14, Isaiah 64:6 etc. (These references are far from exhaustive.) Unfortunately, the phrase itself is apt to mislead; because the adjective 'total' is often used interchangeably with words like 'complete' or 'utter', we mistakenly intuit that 'total depravity' refers to the belief that fallen sinners are invariably wicked to the greatest degree imaginable. This, we know by experience, is plainly untrue – it is also not what the Bible teaches. Instead, 'total depravity' refers to totality of our sin and its effect in "extent (twisting and tainting every part of our humanness), not [in]... degree (depraving every part of us absolutely)"[1].  This is one reason why Paul extensively lists, from verses 3-18, the different parts of the body that were made to glorify God but have been subverted by us in rebellion against Him. For example, while our tongues were made to praise God, we have used it to lie. 

As R.C. Sproul explains:

"[total depravity] means the fall was so serious that it affects the whole person. The fallenness that captures and grips our human nature affects our bodies; that’s why we become ill and die. It affects our minds and our thinking; we still have the capacity to think, but the Bible says the mind has become darkened and weakened. The will of man is no longer in its pristine state of moral power. The will, according to the New Testament, is now in bondage. We are enslaved to the evil impulses and desires of our hearts. The body, the mind, the will, the spirit—indeed, the whole person—have been infected by the power of sin" (emphases added)[2].

 

"... no one seeks for God"

Psalm 14:1-3 (ESV):

“The fool says in his heart, "there is no God." They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds; there is none who does good. 

The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God.

They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.”

The refusal to seek God and the rejection of God as God are two sides of the same coin (Psalm 10:4-6). When the wicked says "there is no God", he is not principally denying the existence of God, but refusing to obey God out of a belief that he will ultimately get away with making an enemy of the Most High (Psalm 10:11,13)[3].  

Seen in this light, refusing to seek God is much more than being reluctant to attend church, hear the gospel, or repent. It is an attempt to dethrone God and enthrone ourselves – in other words, it is high treason[4]. In our fallen states, we "curse and renounce the LORD" in our greed to enjoy the "desires of our soul" (Psalm 10:3-4 (ESV)).

This treason begins in a drastic reversal of our desires. In explaining to Nicodemus why being born again is necessary to see the Kingdom of God (John 3:1-21), Jesus laid out an irrefutable charge against the human race: "And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God" (John 3:19-21, emphasis added). 

Jesus cuts to the matter of the heart: our unwillingness to come to the light goes beyond a casual disinterest in, or even purely rational aversion to, God and holiness. Rather, sinners hatefully reject and actively refuse to approach God, preferring to love and dwell in sin. Not only do we not seek God, we "have [actively] turned away" (Romans 3:12 (ESV)). We detest the light because it exposes our evil works. We do not want to hear that "God has [not] forgotten", or that He "will... call to account" (Psalm 10:11, 13 (ESV)), because then we would be in hot water. One way our hate for the light manifests is in our distrust of and dislike for those who renounce sin. When another "comes to the light" and repents of his sinful past, he implicitly testifies against the sin of those who remain the denizens of darkness - he is a turncoat from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light (Colossians 1:13-14). We should not be surprised by this Schmittian "other-ing". The light of the world Himself was persecuted because His preaching brought guilt to its hearers and removed all "excuse[s] for their sin" (John 16:22 (ESV)). 

In truth, therefore, sinners are "haters of God" and have waged war against Him (Romans 1:30; 5:10). Thus, while some might consider themselves "seekers", without the gracious regenerating work of the Holy Spirit, sinners will not lay bare their sins and come before God in repentance. This unwillingness is often called "moral inability" – “[we] cannot because [we] will not[5]. As a result of original sin, we now "hath wholly lost all ability of will to any spiritual good accompanying salvation... and dead in sin, [are] not able, by [our] own strength, to convert [ourselves] or to prepare [ourselves] thereunto"[6]. In the words of John Owen, "...the way [to salvation] is open and prepared, and it is not because men cannot enter, but because they will not, that they do not enter"[7].

What an unregenerate seeker really seeks is not God, but the gifts of a right relationship with Him, "happiness, peace, relief from guilt, personal fulfilment..." and the like[8]. It is no different from seeking to marry for riches rather than love. The contrapositive is also true: when someone hears the gospel and responds to the effect that he sees no personalneed for salvation, it is more likely than not that this stems from a belief that he already enjoys the benefits of salvation. 

 

"... no one does good, not even one"

How do we reconcile Paul's unequivocal and universal declaration that nobody does good with our everyday experience of unbelievers doing good things? Many of my non-Christian friends actively serve the poor and needy and give generously. In the eyes of God, is that not “doing good” [9]?

Not if we are to accept as authoritative what God says about goodness.  In Romans 14, Paul warned the church not to eat anything that they doubted that God would approve of, explaining that "...whatever does not proceed from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23 (ESV)). Put another way, we see that God looks to the intentions behind external behaviour; regardless of the moral quality of an act, it is sinful (and therefore not good) if done while suspecting that God would disapprove. How then could we imagine that God would consider behaviour good, however apparently righteous, when done while continually refusing to even acknowledge God as God? Whereas the believer addressed by Paul merely suspects he may offend God, the unbeliever does not even usually consider what God thinks of his actions. In fact, he does not even consider God to be God. Hence, the unbeliever's "civil virtue" - a term the Reformers used to refer to works conforming outwardly to the law of God[10], may be motivated variously by "enlightened self-interest", a desire for the praise of others, a fear of reprisal, or even an uninformed “zeal for God” (Romans 10:2 (ESV)), but not a true desire to please God by seeking Him and His righteousness[11]. Worst still, he may even act in defiance to God, whether subconscious or otherwise, seeking to prove to himself and others that believing in and submitting to God is unnecessary to "be a good person". Ironically, in the eyes of God, attempting to have good without God leaves one with neither. 

A refusal to seek God is therefore inextricable from a failure to do good. We see this most vividly in Isaiah 65, as God Himself recounts how Israel stubbornly refused to seek and obey Him, chose to go their own way, and therefore provoked Him to anger.

Isaiah 65 (ESV):

"I was ready to be sought by those who did not ask for me;

    I was ready to be found by those who did not seek me.

I said, “Here I am, here I am,”

    to a nation that was not called by my name.

I spread out my hands all the day

    to a rebellious people,

who walk in a way that is not good,

    following their own devices;

a people who provoke me

    to my face continually,

sacrificing in gardens

    and making offerings on bricks;

who sit in tombs,

    and spend the night in secret places;

who eat pig's flesh,

    and broth of tainted meat is in their vessels;

who say, “Keep to yourself,

    do not come near me, for I am too holy for you.”

These are a smoke in my nostrils,

    a fire that burns all the day.

Behold, it is written before me:

    “I will not keep silent, but I will repay;

I will indeed repay into their lap

   both your iniquities and your fathers' iniquities together,

says the Lord;

because they made offerings on the mountains

    and insulted me on the hills,

I will measure into their lap

    payment for their former deeds.”"

 

Is my friend really totally depraved?

Total depravity means less than what we commonly think. The Bible does not discount the myriad benefits brought about by sinners performing acts of civil virtue (Matthew 7:11), even though it is clear that these acts cannot please God because they are done as rebels. We should not think of our friends as worse sinners than us. In fact, in our ongoing struggle with sin, we will often, whilst appearing and claiming to seek and serve God, actually seek and serve to please our sinful natures. That we who profess to follow Christ could be equally, if not more, opposed to Him is deplorable and should drive us to repentance rather than pride. 

Total depravity also means more than what we commonly think. We are not merely disinterested in the things of God, and we are not good. Given our hateful and active rebellion against God, it is impossible to save ourselves – we must be born again. No matter how righteous our friends appear, “there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12 (ESV)). Only Christ is sufficient, and He is to be offered freely to all. We need to share the gospel. 

Most of all, the doctrine of total depravity should compel us to praise the glorious grace of a God who sent His Son to live the perfect life of obedience we refused to live and die for us treasonous rebels. Why should God seek us when we would not seek Him (Isaiah 65:1)? Let us praise and cherish the God who bore us back to His sheepfold as a loving shepherd (John 10:1).